Persevering When Your Publishing Journey Detours

Keep Calm and Yes, Carry On

Photo by Marc Pell on Unsplash

Earlier this week, my upstairs neighbor sent me the following text:

I broke out into a huge grin. Since we are both avid readers, we’ve talked books before, and when she found out I was an author, she immediately ordered all three of my books. A few days later, we saw each other in the lobby of our building, and she started gushing all over again about my novel. “I absolutely loved it,” she said. “I even sent it to some friends.” She praised my writing and begged me to write a sequel.

Friends, you have no idea how much I needed to hear this. My fiction publishing journey has been anything but smooth, especially when compared to my nonfiction work. I’ve published extensively in nonfiction - two books, several magazine articles, etc. - but the dream of being a published novelist? It’s been a one step forward, two steps back scenario.

Around 2016, when my then-agent shopped around The Stranger from Berlin, my hope for it finding a home stayed high - until it didn’t. It kept being rejected until finally, we decided to put it aside and have me focus on the next one (a sequel, of sorts, which featured the main characters of The Stranger from Berlin in supporting roles). I loved this story, as well, as it featured a US Marine suffering from massive PTSD from the Pacific War and a German refugee who’d been in Berlin when the Soviets came in. But then my life completely blew apart with my divorce in 2017. I wrote the rest of my novel in a haze of pain and agony, and when I finally turned it into my agent, she said it was still in draft form. I didn’t have the emotional capacity to work on it anymore. So that one was shelved, as well.

Fast forward to 2020. Simon & Schuster UK had opened their Digital Originals imprint to historical fiction. I asked my agent if I could enter The Stranger from Berlin; she gave her blessing. Much to my astonishment, Simon & Schuster UK offered me a deal. My agent wasn’t keen on the contract, but at this point in my life, I was so desperate to have this story published that I went ahead with it. Was it a mistake? I don’t know. I still don’t.

My editor told me they planned for The Stranger from Berlin to be published digitally, and then in print. But the pandemic suddenly plunged the world into absolute chaos, and the print version never materialized. I was heartbroken. Then my agent and I decided to part ways. I didn’t feel as though she had the necessary enthusiasm for my writing anyway, so I wasn’t upset at ending our partnership. But it did mean I’d taken those proverbial two steps back in my publishing journey.

The frustrating bit? This was exactly when the market for WWII fiction went completely nuts. The genre I’d been writing for twenty years was suddenly popular and I didn’t have a novel to sell. Instead, I’d been wrapped up in healing from my divorce, working on my second nonfiction book, dipping my toes back into the dating world, selling my house, and moving into an apartment. By the time I felt able to churn out another novel called Game of Deception, a WW2 espionage thriller set on the American Homefront, WWII suddenly became a hard sell again.

Sigh.

But the story . . .oh how I love it. I can’t stand for Game of Deception to stay on my hard drive. If the one independent publisher currently reviewing it decides to pass, I may go the self-publishing route. My beta readers loved it, so I really want to send it out into the world.

Since that novel, I’ve written another one (which needs work) and have started two more. One is a historical set in postwar England while the other is contemporary women’s fiction. The latter is close to my heart, and it’s the one I’m focusing on right now. It’s about a women in midlife with ME/CFS who is forced to give up her dream job. Now without purpose, she takes the opportunity to regroup by staying in an English village where she finds a community of other women in midlife. As I will be 51 this year (and I also have ME/CFS), this story really resonates with me.

At the tender age of 12, I wanted to be a published novelist. More importantly, I wanted a career as a published novelist. Have I shelved that dream? Not on your life. Oh, there’s been times when I’ve given myself a break from writing but will I ever stop being a writer? Not a chance.

Once I finish this current WIP, I’ll hit the query trenches again. And if that doesn’t work out? I will look at the self-publishing route. I’ve been in this biz for 25 years and witnessed firsthand how it’s changed.

But my goal hasn’t changed. I want to share my work with the world. I want it to entertain, to touch hearts, to maybe even change minds. If I have to reconfigure how to put it out into the world, then I will.

I know my publishing story isn’t an anomaly. Many of us have similar tales. But what unites us is our love of writing, of our need to make sense of this world through words. Nothing, not even the vagaries of this business, can change that.

If any of this resonates with you, you’re not alone. This business requires a thick skin. You may have to change tactics (like trying for a small, independent publisher vs one of the big ones) and that’s okay. I’m also not one to advocate for writing to the market (though there’s nothing wrong with that) because I would have a very difficult time pouring my energy and time into a story I don’t really believe in. Your mileage may vary.

If my journey has taught me anything, it’s this: I am a writer. It’s what I was born to do. So I shall keep on, keeping on. (Whether I’m calm about it is another story!)

This is my message to you: keep going. Pour your heart and soul into your writing. Enjoy the process. Remember why you started writing in the first place. Then hang onto that, and let the words flow.