I Want to Go to a Party (But Not the Kind You Think)

Have we lost the art of social gatherings? Or am I just lame?

Photo by Valiant Made on Unsplash

While out walking my dog tonight, dusk settled upon the neighborhood, and the joyful glow of twinkle lights hanging inside someone’s living room caught my attention. Through the window, I spotted numerous people, talking and laughing, happy to be together.

It gave me a twinge of envy.

There’s a terrific scene in the wonderfully 1955 romantic classic film All That Heaven Allows with Rock Hudson and Jane Wyman where he invites her out to a simple get-together with a bunch of his friends. It’s a gathering full of food, music, dancing, and laughter. I always watch that scene with painful yearning, and wonder if these types of parties are things of the past. Maybe our television screens and phones and the utter busyness of our lives has made such social gatherings extinct.

Surely not, right?

Because I want to go to parties and get-togethers where we lounge around a person’s living room, drink in hand, with a table overladen with food, and everyone is having discussions about politics or art or society, and we don’t need to be entertained or stare at a screen - it is enough to just be together.

I want to have a large circle of friends to hang out with. I haven’t really had that since college. Of course, college is the time to make connections, go to parties, and meet people. Once we become adults, it’s a lot harder.

Many of us make friends through our jobs, or through our kids’ activities, or neighborhood block parties. None of those are options for me. My job is remote and I don’t have the ability to hang out with my co-workers after work. My kids are all grown. And I live in an apartment building. Plus, I just moved to a brand new state and meeting people is hard. Of course, we can’t forget my chronic health issues which often means I have to cancel plans.

Then there’s the other issue: I’m an introvert. But it’s not true that introverts want to be alone all the time. Far from it. I can be the most extroverted person you’ve ever met if I’m at a gathering where I feel comfortable and am meeting people with similar interests.

Don’t get me wrong - I absolutely love staying at home and doing my own thing, whether that’s watching classic films, writing, reading, doing jigsaw puzzles, etc. But there are times I’d love to be able to go out with a group of friends, hang out, talk, laugh, and connect.

I have a huge circle of online friends - but it’s not the same, y’know?

The answer is, of course, to get involved. I tried to do this a few months ago by attending an in-person writing group. But that just didn’t pan out. I also attended an event at the College of William and Mary libraries where I met some people. So I have taken some steps, and I do need to remind myself that I’ve only been here six months. These things take time.

But maybe I should spread my wings a bit more and start looking for some groups to join or start volunteering (but that pesky health of mine might prevent me from doing that! GAH).

I wonder if I am alone in this craving. Do you have a group of friends to hang out with? Do you have dinners and get-togethers with your friends? Is it a small circle or a big circle? Or just one or two close friends?

Would love to hear your thoughts.